growth is painful, even moreso when it is self inflicted

I have been dealing with my own maturity level lately. I am slowly learning what it is like to be a single person. Sometimes it is a joy to be alone, sometimes it is difficult. I have some very special friends in my life, and they are there for me when I am at my lowest.  I have a particular friend that I rely on heavily, and sometimes I demand his attention when he has issues of his own to deal with. I have made myself some rules, such as they are, and they are meant to help me be alone and thus reduce my reliance on him. I value his advice and I know that if I continue my random histrionics, I will lose my strongest ally. To have that happen would solely be caused by my words and actions. Mine alone. I've never had such a friend, and I believe neither has he. It is true friendship, something I may have had from time to time, but never like this. Never this depth of compassion, the almost palpable waves of empathy that bathe me in reassurance and love.