When I left my husband, I had only one goal in mind: get out from under all the stress. Granted, he did not know what he was causing within me, but he was so angry at the world and was so focused on that anger he had no idea how he appeared to the world around him, or how it was affecting me. I had to get out to save my own sanity, which has had it's stresses but that's another story. Suffice it to say that I had been down a self-destructive road in the past and I could see myself on the way back to that road, and it terrified me. I had promised myself a long time ago that if I ever saw that happening to me again, I would fight to prevent myself going back there. So I did what I had to do, which was escape.

Now tomorrow is Thanksgiving. My two sons will be together up north, and I have a couple of choices. I can stay home where my housemate is preparing a feast and inviting all the orphans over, or I can try to do something with the FSO. (Former Significant Other)

We would most likely go somewhere with a buffet and that would be good enough. I am toying with the idea of asking him to come to the orphans dinner party. I don't think he'd accept.

I have to admit that sometimes I am not happy to be alone. Sometimes this is a scary journey. But it is of my nature to not ask for help, yet now I find that I want help now and then, and I just don't know how to ask. Don't know who to ask. Don't know what, specifically, to ask for.  Hold me, I'm lonely. Help me, I'm afraid. Help me, I don't know what to do. Help me, I don't know how to ask for help.
There. I did it. Good for me.